Men who choose to approach Tantra Massage usually do so for different reasons than women. A man does not normally have trouble achieving orgasm during either lovemaking or masturbation. Normally, he may confront feelings related with fear of rejection due to the size or appearance of his penis (lingam), as well as performance anxiety and feelings of inadequacy surrounding his sexual relationships with women. For such emotional issues, Tantra Massage can bring a great deal of self-confidence to men.
One of the best benefits of this massage for men is that men learn greater control over their sexual energy. This is of enormous help to men who face issues pertaining to their capacity for arousal and premature ejaculation. First of all, men learn to recognize the gradations of arousal and to experience greater and greater levels of pleasure without ejaculation. Not only does this expand the capability of a man to handle pleasure, allowing him the possibility of increasing his own orgasmic potential, but it also trains him to experience lovemaking without ejaculating. This is very important in Tantra, as it brings men and women into closer synchronicity during their phases of arousal, allowing them to experience deep orgasmic states together.
Through this massage a man may also become multiorgasmic and even whole-body orgasmic, as he learns to disperse his arousal energy and to sublimate his pleasure into higher states of awareness, bliss, and even spiritual states of samadhi.
The effects and benefits of Tantra Massage for men include:
- Men learn to enjoy sexual pleasure throughout the whole body and not only focused in the lingam. The different movements and techniques help men to create connection between the lingamand the rest of the body so that the whole body is vibrating with sexual energy. This phenomenon can even lead men to experience a full-body orgasm and to become multiorgasmic!
- Men, similarly to women although many times very discreetly, also store traumas and negative emotions around their genitals. It could be a result of abuse in childhood, many times unknown, or just self-judgment due to emotional states later on in adulthood. In any event, this kind of massage, due to the fact that it’s being done in a safe and loving environment, allows men to become free of these blockages and confident about their sexuality.
- Men learn to receive pleasure without touching or giving back in return. During a massage, they need to relax and let their partner, or their masseuse, be “in charge.” Psychologically speaking, this is an unusual situation for men as they are accustomed to “performing”; they want to be leaders and sometimes they even receive most of their pleasure by touching, grabbing, looking, and giving – i.e., being active in their sexuality. In some cases this can be extremely challenging as men have to let go of control and surrender. They can realize in so doing that they actually give so much to their partner! They give her the opportunity to give (Shakti likes that a lot!), and they give their trust, which is a big gift. “In giving you receive” but also “in receiving you give.”
- In light of the above, men come to understand women better. By receiving this kind of massage they actually feel what it’s like to be a woman in the sense of letting go of control, being receptive (yin) and therefore more sensitive, and allowing someone else to lead and be in charge.
- Men learn to accommodate very high levels of sexual pleasure without ejaculation. This makes them great lovers! If men are interested in becoming continent or, in other words, fully tantric practitioners, this massage will help them master their sexual energy. It means that they will be able to make love for a long time without the need to stop due to loss of energy (ejaculation) or lack of control over their sexual energy.
- Men can benefit by deepening their spiritual practice. In this kind of massage men learn how to use their sexual energy and to channel it to the higher levels of their being, effectively using sex to go beyond sex. They learn to sublimate this powerful energy and use it to increase their self-confidence and lucidity, to open their hearts to love, to become more creative, to improve their mental concentration, and even to increase their spiritual aspiration toward the divine consciousness.
